A mother’s blog

Cycling against stalking

When the actual ride happened, it was pretty brutal, but I think Alice would have really approved of the camaraderie and especially the drinking in the bar at the end of each day.

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Before and after

… most difficult of all are my thoughts of life before Alice was murdered. Because everything that happened before that day led us to the point where she was murdered.

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Formation of a trust

it was important to keep Alice’s name alive. It was inconceivable that such zest for life and vitality would simply disappear

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How not to cry

In the early days, most people just gave me a hug. I didn’t have to speak and I could avoid crying. But then people needed to talk to me about Alice, about what to do with her stuff, arrangements for her funeral and mundane, but hugely distressing administration tasks. I discovered that if I felt emotional, I could avoid crying by just stopping what I was saying, usually mid-sentence. In those early days there were a lot of silent pauses. I think my friends got used to it.

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You can do this

The first time we went to Newcastle with Alice, the Tyne Bridge was displaying The Great North Run logo, and every time I visited Alice in August and September, that logo was calling out to me. When we were in Newcastle after Alice’s murder, the logo was still there, and it triggered something in my subconscious. By the end of the year, without really understanding how I was going to do it, I had signed up for a place in the Great North run 2017, supporting Women’s Aid.

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The cost of a murder

If we can ensure that everyone in every school in the country is properly educated about stalking, then we will make an enormous impact. People will be more likely to identify stalking, whether it is happening to them, to their friends or being carried out by their friends. They will know what to do about it and how to support those people that it is affecting. This is so important!

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It takes a village…

When Alice died, we had lived in the same village for over thirty years. I think I knew everybody in the village, some really well and most on more than just on a nodding acquaintance. But without exception, everyone was unbelievably supportive.

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